how guitar hero lost its rockstar mystique.

i can't wait until i see someone playing this on the subway. and by playing, i mean getting jumped. and laughed at.

also, these are the best instructions ever:

simply press the color buttons in order while stoking the pic across the screen, Wiggle Wiggle, get star combos, yell “Rock Out”

flex and the city.

whether you've got your louboutins on and the perfect glossimer already picked out for the premiere, or you have xy chromosomes and call sjp horseface behind your girlfriend/sister/mom/wife/niece/aunt/friend that is a girl but i swear we're just friend-friends/grandma's back, you will both enjoy this musclebound rendition of a classic sitc episode.



because i am all about bringing people together in the name of tv, mockery and serious gender ambiguity. you're welcome.

inappropriately equipped.

we were exiting the durham HIGHWAY this afternoon and m had to seriously hit his (shady) brakes because we got caught behind this guy:

we weren't sure if his scooter/moped/crotch rocket was highway legal, but then we saw him turn here:

that's right. he got off the HIGHWAY and turned onto a SIDEWALK.

awesome.

i am at my most creative when procrastinating.

the number of different ways i have avoided packing thus far:

1. watched an entire season of veronica mars (again)
2. made this pasta dish for lunch
3. purchased and played ddr supernova 2
4. reciprocated facebook wall posts
5. shopped for new bedding
6. "cleaned up" the dvr queue by watching the season finales of the office, grey's, gossip girl & moonlight
   
7. uploaded, captioned and emailed vacation pictures
8. thought about taking up (subversive) cross-stitching
   
9. organized my firefox bookmarks
10. watched enchanted
11. figured out that the title to my car exists exactly nowhere
12. this, this, this, this, this and this
    

in my defense, this is the eighth move i've made in nine years, not including all of those layovers in nj where i mooched off my parents, which is precisely what i'll be doing again this summer like the proud mba grad that i am. i assure you everyone is mutually excited that the prodigal daughter returns. again.

strategy, this might be (read: definitely is) applicable to you.

as i pack up my stuff and sift through various school artifacts, i've come to realize that purging certain materials are infinitely easier than others. the perpetrators shall remain (not really) anonymous to protect the innocent.

OMFG.

i'm super psyched because i just figured out what i'm doing this weekend:

that's right, i'm devoting myself to watching all five installments of this show on vh1. i'm already "liveblogging", if you will, from #21-40 right now. so far, i am like eleven for eleven on owning all of the songs mentioned. seriously. it's like reliving the music that defined my life throughout my various trials and tribulations as a burgeoning jersey girl.

btw m is already tired of me shouting "YESSSSSS!" as each new song comes on. either that, or my rampant headbanging, fist pumping and out of tune singing. i don't know. it's a toss up, really.

can you feel it?

nkotb mania is subtly infecting the 25-50 year old teenyboppers of the world.

exhibit a:



exhibit b (taken from the best nkotb analysis of the 00's):

and of course, exhibit c.

plus, with sweet, soul-searing lyrics like,

remember when we said girl please don't go
and how i'd be loving you foreeeeeeeever
taught you 'bout hangin' tough
as long as you've got the right stuff
didn't we girls? ooooooooooooh
didn't we girls? aaaaaaaaaaaah

i know you're just as psyched as i am (scarily enough, i definitely just transcribed that from the pure power of my tiger beat memory). anyway, it's finally time to resurrect those six-inch diameter nkotb pins!

yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!

i pity the foo(l).

until today, i didn't really understand the point of perler beads, though it did teach me to iron back in the day. then i saw this work of genius by shayne at trans-craft-inental:

wow. in comparison, i'm pretty sure that in 1988, my whole family received some variant of the following as christmas gifts. it was a banner year for them, i'm sure.

meanwhile, as i was searching for images of perler bead handiwork, i came across the perler bead prodigy simon, who managed to fashion this monkey and accompanying banana at the young age of five:

v impressive. and apparently there is no ceiling to the age appropriateness of perler beads, as evidenced by krysten, who could maybe stand to learn a few things from simon.

now i know what i'm getting my grandma for christmas this year. she'll be the 4'8" tall lady leading the next perler bead movement in south korea. it's gonna be HUGE.

this is pretty much genius.

mike sacks, i salute you and your commitment to capturing great moments of american tv with your digital camera.

this website is better at math than you.

proof that sometimes marketers and math actually go together. kind of.

see you on the flip side.

(via geogreeting)

this also happens to me on the treadmill.

we must be allergic. pity.

a race to the bottom.

go here to do your part for the advancement of dog-kind by voting for the 2008 world's ugliest dog.

for inspiration, here's last year's winner, elwood (jersey represent!):

however, i'm personally rooting for this hawt bitch:

miss ellie's own bio describes her as very "unique" looking.

meanwhile, you know you've got a decent shot at the title when the ominous use of vague descriptors like interesting and special are compounded by the addition of quotation marks.

now i'm waiting for a pr release re: the human edition of this contest. and the vh1 reality show showing all of the backstage cat fights. pun partially intended.

this just in.

(courtesy of family feud)

john o'hurley: which presidential candidate seems the most presidential?

contestant 1: george washington.
contestant 2: ronald reagan.
contestant 3: thomas jefferson.

oh my. i didn't realize the word candidate was so... confusing.

chummy voldemort.

also, i ♥ dumbledore.

(source)

oh, tyra.

you are truly batshit crazy.



and just in case you were wondering what the real thing looked like:



honestly, how much do you think these women were paid by unilever to scream about their new $100 jars of vaseline?

(source)

family treason.

my mom was wandering around the mall while i got my nails done today. when i found her afterwards, she was carrying a dick's sporting goods bag. although she is admittedly more athletic than i (don't think that bar could really be any lower though), that was a surprise. when i went to go see what she had purchased, she whipped out these:

meanwhile, why are my parents even in town visiting? for my graduation. from DUKE.

in her defense though, she thought the initials stood for the state, not the university. also, they were a bargain basement price of $5. infer what you will from the deep discount.

my beach week discovery.

apparently i've been missing out because the price is right is HILARIOUS.

people matter, but celebrities matter more.

i don't like john mayer as a musician. like at all. even though i (un)willingly have the wondrous body-land song on my ipod. but if he's willing to embrace his tooliness, i support him 100%.



bravo.

gang wars in south africa.

lesson of the day? never count out the underdog. he could have a lot of really big, aggressive friends.

just how much does my car hate me?

...so much so that it digested and regurgitated the drive belt completely of its own accord, thus rendering the cooling and power steering systems completely useless. in the middle of i-95. the mechanic literally went looking for the belt and just found a few strands left behind. and i'm pretty sure we ran over whatever it decided to eject. either that or a small animal. bastard (my car, that is).

i just needed like, FOUR MORE WEEKS. two of which i would be OUT OF TOWN. dear saaby, please DIAF. you totally usurped my graduation dress fund. BASTARD.

apologies, i clearly have serious issues with my soon to be abandoned car. THE BASTARD!

(pic source)

i grew up on this stuff.

it turned the milk an organically natural purplish blue color. it was AWESOME. regular milk just wasn't sweet enough after that sugar-coma inducing blast.

delicious. no, really.