how NOT to memorize anything, ever.

apparently something called pseudonumerology exists and sadly, it doesn't tell you whether you and your crush are numerically compatible like it used to in the early 90s. what it does offer is the most complicated, inefficient way to memorize information that i've ever seen. however, judge for yourself.

so in order to remember US presidents and the years in which they were in office, the process dictates:

1. associate names with images. so john f. kennedy = candy or lyndon b. johnson = a london john. REPEAT 43 TIMES. (please stay with me. it gets better.)
2. then tie the images together in (nonsensical) sentences, like Candy is flushed down the toliet of a London john. (WHAT?) REPEAT 43 TIMES.
3. finally, simply recode the arabic numerals 0-9 with (random) consonants (4=R, 5=L, etc.) and assign these pseudonumes (haha! so clever!) to the last two digits of each president's inauguration year. then memorize any random words containing the assigned consonants (e.g., James Polk became president in 1845. as you can see above, 4=R & 5=L. therefore, the author suggests using "haiRy whaLe" as a way to remember 1845.). REPEAT 43 TIMES.

i think it's safe to start calling for the end of an era. peace out, hooked on phonics, i'm now waiting for the infomercials with small children squealing, "pseudonumerology worked for me!!"

(i literally laughed for 17 minutes straight as i browsed through the website for the first time and then harassed m until he looked at it too. it is THAT amazing.)