this one's for the gents.

do you sport xy chromosomes? do you find yourself underwhelmed by the interestingly pungent (read: offensively sweet-smelling) candles targeted to women? do you wish you could drink alcohol from the candle container once the wick fully burns down?

then i believe manterns were conceived/commercialized just for you. luscious scents include:

• bacon cheeseburger: "The delicious smell of a big, meaty bacon cheeseburger. This candle will ignite the fire within your man as he hungers for flame-broiled beef. This man-scent smells so much like a burger you'll think the grill is on!"
• 4th of july: "The combination of gunpowder and sulfer [sic] gives this man candle the distinctive fireworks smell all guys appreciate. What man won't love the scent of colorful explosions?"
• tennis ball can: "Who doesn't love the scent of a freshly opened can of tennis balls? The perfect combination of rubber and flourescent yellow gives this candle that distinct smell any sports-lover will recognize."

honestly, i can't believe sky mall isn't featuring manterns on their front page, right next to:


(seriously, that's on their website right now. it's a kitty washroom cabinet. DUH.)