there must be something they're not telling us.

sometimes i wonder if the good people at pottery barn have a secret internal competition to see what they can dupe the mass market into buying. this is how i imagine the go-to-market conversation going down...

the champion of the giant wooden scissors would kick it off with a sales pitch:

"you will not BELIEVE the scale on these things! thin is in, am i right? well these giant scissors will make any book you own look downright TINY. while also offsetting your yuppie blueprint wallpaper."

then the compass guy would chime in:

"you amateur. you obviously haven't harnessed the power of nostalgia that will inspire people to buy ANYTHING they used as a child. even mathematical instruments. nevermind that it has two points and no giant pencil like an actual compass would. these dummies don't care about faithful reproductions. because it's A HUGE COMPASS. and AWESOME."

feeling the need to trumpet her own contribution, the clothespin lady would weigh in:

"some people might think we're trying to go high brow and create a claus oldenburg reproduction for the middle class. and i guess we're ok with that."

"but really, we just want to show that sometimes, you forget that the laundry room is a laundry room despite having a visible washer/dryer set and a giant hamper in the middle of the room. sometimes, you need four huge, obsolete clothespins on the wall to remind you. i'm just saying."

finally, the wing man puts an end to the debate:

"FACT: my freshly harvested angel wings on a stick are sparkly. FACT: americans love sparkly everything. GENERALIZATION: therefore, americans will love my gilded wing-on-a-stick. and double therefore, i own you."

(this random act of sarcasm has been brought to you by my 37th attempt to dodge doing any homework today)