pandora's box.

as i was cleaning out old emails, i encountered the best cover letter i've ever had the pleasure of reading. IN MY LIFE. here are the choicest excerpts, with specifics eliminated to protect the innocent (read: completely absurd).

clearly a strong start. i appreciate your meticulous nature and admirable efforts to include specifics. i'm pretty sure you would die to get this job right now, y/y?


i, too, have recently learned "business talk"! but not the importance of it. what the hell is an mba for, anyway? i'm not even going to touch the "relation skills" piece. i just hope you're being safe at those "exhibitions".


i'll say. though with this ladykiller on the résumé, that may be a premature conclusion:


i'm pretty sure all of planet earth witnessed the intro of the Euro, but bygones. too bad that was buried in page TWO of your résumé.

but really, i created this post specifically for the following gem. it makes me sad to think that i may have peaked so early in my cover letter-reviewing career because i'm not sure if i'll ever see anything this fucking AWESOME in a cover letter ever again. it blew my mind.


please note the candidate was less than two years out of college at the time. and that encarta defines a Pandora's Box as either an:

1. object in Greek mythology: in Greek mythology, the jar, later referred to as a box, from which Pandora allowed all the world's evils to escape, or a
   
2. set of ills: the source of a great collection of ills that need not be faced unless an unwise action is taken

that's right, he said UNLEASH. you better recognize.