maury povich, you are NOT the primary source of shady paternity tests.

now at rite-aid:
is this going to be the new boy equivalent of the pregnancy test scare, a la brenda walsh in season 2? that is, your parents inadvertently find a discarded paternity test box in your trash can and accuse you of having premarital sex with your rebel-girlfriend-with-a-trust-fund-and-an-old-soul before grounding you...?

regardless, at least maury has some high quality programming to fall back on, including the medical anomalies showcase, montages featuring clips from cheaters and real stories of the highway patrol, or the always classic "i was a dork/fatty/pipsqueak but now i'm fucking hot!" makeover-esque shows.