oh cw, you wily little tease.

clearly, we have history. i mean, we're practically epic. i stuck with you through thick and thin; remember how crushed you were by the ultra-devastating felicity hair scandal of 1999?

i didn't even laugh out loud when joey attended an "ivy league university in boston":

and i won't resort to sucker punching you by mentioning that yes, i did follow jamie luner from just the ten of us to savannah.

and although i fell in love a little bit deeper when you adopted veronica mars as one of your own as you usurped upn, you then coerced MULTIPLE america's next top models into guest starring roles and then heartlessly CANCELLED IT.

so that brings me to present day. i adore your (fabulous!) east coast O.C. - i was even a (10-years-too-old) gossip girl for halloween - and i even continue to watch the most mediocre show on tv (one tree hill). this, despite the fact that i'm supposed to believe that chad michael murray plays a credible "published author" and the brand name clothes over bro's can actually be mentioned without cringing. and erroneously abuses an apostrophe. i mean, honestly.


BUT. the fact that you took your smartest, funniest, most AWESOME show (reaper) and failed to air its christmas episode until today IN SPITE OF THE WRITERS' STRIKE is just plain MEAN. i can see where this is heading already.


just like with my fave teen girl detective show/logan echolls vehicle, you're going to prematurely eject my fave teen boy soulcatcher-for-the-devil show from your lineup. i hate you.

and by hate you, i mean i totally LOVE you. in the hauntingly insightful words of celine dion:

I'd like to run away from you
But if I were to leave you I would die
I'd like to break the chains you put around me
And yet I'll never try

No matter what you do you drive me crazy
I'd rather be alone
But then I know my life would be so empty
As soon as you were gone

it's kind of scary (read: abysmally sad) how spot on those lyrics are, really.